of the future

What do you want to be when you grow up?

No, walaupun serupa, tapi blog post kali ini beda dari postingan sebelumnya... Kalo postingan sebelumnya adalah personal, maka ini adalah... lebih personal lagi (if possible). Ketika mebayangkan tentang masa depan, future, yang ada di otak saya adalah... keluarga.

Saya mau jadi istri, lalu jadi mama.

Is that even too much to ask?

The following will be in english, I'm having hard time expressing myself in Bahasa, seriously! >_<

I'm a hopelessly romantic girl. Some other stronger girls maybe will laugh at me, at my need to have someone to lean on. But really, what I want is a wedding, a day marking someone agreed to be with me, bearing all the consequences. Someone I can run to, someone I spend my rest of my life with, someone I can share everything with, someone to build the future with.

There, I've said it. So my biggest fear is for those dreams to not happen. What if I never get a chance to marry anyone? What if I can't make anybody loves me? What if nobody wants to spend the rest of his life with me? What if I ended up alone?

Ah... Pemikiran-pemikiran buruk tidak boleh terlalu sering dipikirkan, but once in a while, it does strike, doesn't it?

What a happy day for me is a day start with someone by my side, lazy little smile and maybe snuggled up some more just because we can't get enough of each other warmth. A lazy breakfast, to start a slow, steady day, okay... maybe someday will be rushy and crazy but that wouldn't be mattered, we have each other.

I'll cook, yes, I'll make breakfast while he takes his bath, maybe I would join too, in one of the lazy days because sure thing it'll be a long bath with both of us, and that would mean he'll be late for work and his boss would be angry and we wouldn't want that. Wait, on second thought, maybe he should be his own boss, yes? Just like me. So instead of having a boss fuming up because he's late, we can put up a puppy eyes if his customer isn't quite pleased, there I can help him, puppy eyes is my specialty.

The breakfast would be simple, I hope he won't mind. What about a simple toast? And a hot coffee or chocolate? Or tea? in the morning and little talk about the plans of what to do today. Yeah, that sounds about right for me.

And once the hubby is gone to work, I'll have the day to clean the house and do my own business, and preparing lunch (and dinner), go to the grocery store and off to do some shopping. Maybe once in a while, I'll get to catch up with my friends, old friends, new friends, and have some girly (or more likely 'womanly') talk. I know I'll ramble, with dreamy eyes about my hubby. How proud I am about him, how he can handle me in my weird mood -because I can be reaaaaally annoying in my worst mood, and maybe we'll exchange recipes, food, or something else (like some "how to tame a man in bed" tricks).

I'll work at home, I'll do what I love to do, just like what hubby does; because that way we'll be happy. A job shouldn't be burdening, right? I want to create something, I still want to open up a little shoppee for my artwork, I imagine myself being in love over and over and over again with this man, and the inspiration gonna be endless, flowing just like a river without winter, never frozen, never dried. If I can dream a little more then I would pray really hard for a little cafery, where people can chill out and just sit for hours, but we'll talk about this later in some other post.

I'll prepare dinner, I'll wait for him to come back home (or maybe he'll just have to do his job at home -wonder if it'll work, I'll come and distract him every time, though... because I'll miss him, and come to his room and voila! No work is done, lol. Okay, so maybe I need to learn more about self-control). One of the days, I might be too lazy and will just call him to bring food home, or we'll call a delivery service, or we'll go to our favorite restaurant in town and have a nice dine together OR we'll pay a visit to our parents' houses -we'll surely get some food there, right? lol.

Isn't that simple? My dreams? A whole day filled with love, on repeat, forever, with little surprises everywhere (you see... like 'surprise! you're gonna be a papa!' or 'suprise! RAAWR...' -ha!).

I don't dream of huge mansion with thousand of maids who will bow to me when I passed by them, I don't think I'll need a chauffeur, maybe a maid would help me cleaning up but that is all I need. I'm not gonna whine for huge diamond rings, though I won't mind receiving it. 

I love little, simple happiness, like hugging and twirling around the room before heading off to bed, humming to each other songs only us understand (because most of the time it would be off-tune but none of us would be bothered by it). Like a little dance in the kitchen with our smiles ear to ear, because I'll need to learn to cook more, because I love spending times in the kitchen, and because I know, one way or another he would sneakily hug me from behind and distract me and maybe we'll end up with burnt inedible food, it's okay, there are heaps of restaurants out there, right? I won't even ask for thousands of roses, I'll pick a single sunflower instead. Sure a sunflower field would be great, but some sunflowers at the backyard would be enough. 

You know, even if I can't get the maid, the diamond ring, or the little dance, or the sunflower, that would still be more than enough for this little lady (one way or another, I'll get what I want anyway -I'm good at whining and persuading people, alright) only to have someone by her side for her to love, one who loves her endlessly.

Oh, but please don't forget the late night snack.