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perihal permenikahan yang bikin bingung

Halo Sapi, aku kangen lagi hehe... Dari kemaren dengerin lagu lagu kok ingetnya kamu, tapi emang karena pengen curhat juga sih.. uwu.. Jadi si emak ni ceritanya sangat ingin owe kawin before 30 trus aku padahal kayak hmm hmm sama siapa ya hmmm... Nah saking pengennya tu doi sampe berniat jodoin aku sama anak temennya gt like mmmm... I'm not sure how I feel about this sih... Di sisi lain, seperti sebuah postingan yang masih tersimpan di draft dari beberapa bulan lalu, bahwa ada mas-mas yang tiba2 datang ngajakin kawin (eh menikah...) dengan syarat yang cukup ajaib (tanpa resepsi, which is so not me hiks...) dan karena ini statusnya masih gantung, kek kita mau2 aja tapi masih ga paham how to do the next step dan kemudian life simply got in the way aja gitu jadi belom berani bahas bahas ini lagi... tapi kita masih dekat dan intensively in contact juga sih... Nah kan trus aku bingung ya, di antara 2 cowok ini, sebenernya yang satu aku ga inget sama sekali, kayak th
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The new year is near and I'm still here... ssungguhnya agak bingung mau ngapain, dan gimana... apa goalsnya, kok tiba2 semacam hilang arah... mau apa ya? targetnya tu apa? Mau kawin? Apa mau bikin bisnis sendiri? Apa mau gimana? Aku harus apa ya? mmm bingung... bahkan mau curhat juga bingung karena ga paham masalahnya apa... Kayak semacam harusnya i can do more and be more, tapi sejauh apa? jadi apa? mulai dari mana?
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To Jump

I've been sitting on the edge since... forever... (well okay not really, since the beginning of this year, I guess... so it's been almost 5 months...) I wanna jump, I've been wanting to jump since that 4  months ago. But something's holding me back, I mean... well of course, because jumping is scary so I was like.. should I or shouldn't I? But I've been wanting to do this, but I'm scared, but I know I will do it anyway or else I will regret it for the rest of my life. You know by jumping I mean starting off my own business, right? Heh~ It always seems scary because of the questions and uncertainties. Also because if I actually jump, I don't really have anything else to hold on to. I noticed that most of the illustrator that does illustrate from home are at the same time either moms or at least married. That means they have their husbands to help with the financial should things don't work, well... or so it seems. From my point of vie
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I want to be loved, too...

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The title is kinda.. uh.. you know? Hehe... But I was feeling mellow earlier this morning. Not sure why, okay, actually I know why but I don't want to share it here lol. It just feel like college all over again, and I'm being a possessive bitch that doesn't want to share, and I'm afraid of losing. But then again, you can't lose what you never had. And it annoys me sooooo muuuuuuchhhhh!! I'm like, I want to fall in love agaiiiin, I want to be loved, too! I want to get married, build a family, have kids, and stuff too! Everyone else is doing it so why can't I do it too? And like the anchor I held to all this while (unconsciously), seems to be slipping lately and I've just realized it because while I held on to it I didn't realize I did until it's almost gone like right now and I'm like... uggghhh... didn't I tell you not to take things for granted? So why is this happening again? The more I think about it, the more annoyed I
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Dear Sapi, it's been a year

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Hey, apa kabarmu jauh disana? Jadi sebenernya dari kemaren juga udah inget kalo sekitar tanggal ini kamu pergi, turns out it is today. Ga kerasa banget udah setaun Sap... I'm not actually sure mau nulis apa disini sih.. Is this normal? It's been a year and I still miss you everyday, not like every moment but at random times I do. I think I've never lost anyone this close before, that's why... I guess, I'm still sad when I realize that you're not around anymore. I still have this huge lump in my throat whenever I think of you. I wish we spent more times together, why didn't we? Oh well... Btw, I'm sure you know it already, but I just have to brag about it too to you. I was so proud when I saw the AJ+ video covering XXLab. I remember the last time I went to Jogja (when I still worked in Bandung), we met up and Mba Ratna was in Paris for an exhibition about this. Now this is getting bigger and I'm sure you must be really proud about
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Time to Move On?

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Jadi kali ini bukan postingan "Dear Sapi" ya.. hehe.. ya walaupun aslinya bisa juga sih dicurhatin ke Sapi.. tapi kali ini lebih general dan lebih... personal sih... Jadi akhir-akhir ini aku merasa sudah waktunya loncat ke next stage in life. Bukan nikah juga sih, karena yang itu aku ga bisa atur, tapi kayaknya pengen lebih banyak create something aka build my own business. Ini ya, sebenernya udah entah dari kapan taun... trus kayak pagi ini aku nyadar kalo bentar lagi udah ulangtaun ke-28, yang berarti bentar lagi udah 30 taun, AAAAAK! Masa masih gini gini aja kehidupan iniii... Jangan lah yah.. Dan sebenernya udah ada modalnya, udah ga usah mulai dari awal banget. Let's see... I'm surrounded by people yang bisa bantuin aku banget sebenernya. Nggambar, bisa lah aku lakukan sendiri, kalo bingung bisa minta petunjuk dari Omican atau Alji atau google (lol), instagram, pinterest, dan pixiv, the possibility untuk dapetin ilmu baru sih sesung
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Dear Sapi, kemaren aku beli sepatu

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Tapi salah ukuran... m(_ _")m Jadi untuk piknik ulangtaun besok ke Bangkok, dan piknik di bulan Mei ke Jepang, aku cari sepatu... dan aku sudah memutuskan untuk beli Adidas Superstar Slip-on yang menurut review enak banget dipake. Belinya di berrybenka, yang pas aku buka pas banget lagi ada diskon 20% all item. Dan aku pun pilih size 5 akan 235mm yang mana biasanya size aku emang itu kan.. Besoknya, aku ke amplas, trus iseng mampir ke counter adidas, ternyata disitu juga ada... tapi size 4, begitu aku cobain.. pas banget! Kyaaak... aku pun memutuskan untuk yaah.. yaudah deh besok pas dateng si size 5 aku retur aja sama size 4. Ternyata, pas si size 5 dateng, as expected dia kegedean... bad news is... yang size 4 ga adaaa T^T why... jd aku memutuskan buat tuker sama yang size 4.5... ga beda-beda jauh, harusnya muat lah yah... Nunggu seminggu lagi sampe si 4.5 ini dateng... ternyata pas dicobain tetep kegedean T^T... aslinya sih mungkin kalau aku ga tau betapa pa
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