Belajar Tiara

The title is kinda.. uh.. you know? Hehe... But I was feeling mellow earlier this morning. Not sure why, okay, actually I know why but I don't want to share it here lol. It just feel like college all over again, and I'm being a possessive bitch that doesn't want to share, and I'm afraid of losing. But then again, you can't lose what you never had. And it annoys me sooooo muuuuuuchhhhh!! I'm like, I want to fall in love agaiiiin, I want to be loved, too! I want to get married, build a family, have kids, and stuff too! Everyone else is doing it so why can't I do it too? And like the anchor I held to all this while (unconsciously), seems to be slipping lately and I've just realized it because while I held on to it I didn't realize I did until it's almost gone like right now and I'm like... uggghhh... didn't I tell you not to take things for granted? So why is this happening again? The more I think about it, the more annoyed I...

Hey, apa kabarmu jauh disana? Jadi sebenernya dari kemaren juga udah inget kalo sekitar tanggal ini kamu pergi, turns out it is today. Ga kerasa banget udah setaun Sap... I'm not actually sure mau nulis apa disini sih.. Is this normal? It's been a year and I still miss you everyday, not like every moment but at random times I do. I think I've never lost anyone this close before, that's why... I guess, I'm still sad when I realize that you're not around anymore. I still have this huge lump in my throat whenever I think of you. I wish we spent more times together, why didn't we? Oh well... Btw, I'm sure you know it already, but I just have to brag about it too to you. I was so proud when I saw the AJ+ video covering XXLab. I remember the last time I went to Jogja (when I still worked in Bandung), we met up and Mba Ratna was in Paris for an exhibition about this. Now this is getting bigger and I'm sure you must be really proud about...

Jadi kali ini bukan postingan "Dear Sapi" ya.. hehe.. ya walaupun aslinya bisa juga sih dicurhatin ke Sapi.. tapi kali ini lebih general dan lebih... personal sih... Jadi akhir-akhir ini aku merasa sudah waktunya loncat ke next stage in life. Bukan nikah juga sih, karena yang itu aku ga bisa atur, tapi kayaknya pengen lebih banyak create something aka build my own business. Ini ya, sebenernya udah entah dari kapan taun... trus kayak pagi ini aku nyadar kalo bentar lagi udah ulangtaun ke-28, yang berarti bentar lagi udah 30 taun, AAAAAK! Masa masih gini gini aja kehidupan iniii... Jangan lah yah.. Dan sebenernya udah ada modalnya, udah ga usah mulai dari awal banget. Let's see... I'm surrounded by people yang bisa bantuin aku banget sebenernya. Nggambar, bisa lah aku lakukan sendiri, kalo bingung bisa minta petunjuk dari Omican atau Alji atau google (lol), instagram, pinterest, dan pixiv, the possibility untuk dapetin ilmu baru sih sesung...